Luck By Chance?

Relief, I know what it means to feel it in its full entirety. Do I feel anything fully? Now I do.

Third year: First class pass.

All I feel is relief, not happiness. It was never about doing well. To do well is to grow internally, to know you’ve achieved what you’ve wanted to. I do feel apathetic too. When an outcome has no true reflection of hard-work, talent or aptitude how can it be valid? In my bubble of security am I really better than the others? The answer is within me. You are as good as you believe. There can never be a justification in the cruel joke that they call the ‘result’.

For the first time in my architectural life have I thought of ‘The Fountainhead’ as an example; Peter Keating will always know in his heart who he is and how good an architect he is, no matter what the world says.

I look around with sheer disbelief.

Having said this, I am really glad to have gotten it over with; no third year to re-visit. But my empathy lies with those who deserved much more than they were destined for.




The Irreconcilable Trinity:


Deserved, Desired, Destined


If the three made peace, the world would be a better place. Or just teach me how to desire what I am destined for, not more and definitely not less.